The Passing of Ruci's Father - 2 of 2 Parts

As it turned out Al had three cancerous tumors in his brain. They were spreading rapidly. It was terminal. In the hospital, at the bedside, our family doctor told him that he didn’t have much time left. I was surprised when Al asked if he could get two or three more years. And after all those times when he said that he was ready to go. I guess, we never give up the desire to stay alive. 

Actually, his condition was sever. The doctor thought that he had less then two weeks.  Fortunately, a bed was available at a local hospice center called Liza’s Place. The ambulance took him there the next day. He settled in and  spent several happy days there attended to by Ruci and her two siblings who had quickly arrived.

On one of the days Al just said, “I have five days left.” It was a casual remark. The nurses took it seriously. They said that patients often knew when they would depart. Then his conditioned worsened rapidly. At that time, when Ruci would say “Hare Krishna” to him, Al responded with “Hare Krishna.” Ruci’s brother and sister had to leave. Ruci prayed that she would be there when her father passed, to attend to him and guide him.  Al’s “Hare Krishna” became feebler and finally there was no response at all. He had also started picking at the thin air with his finger tips.

That Friday Al went into what the hospice people refer to as Stage Four. It was the finally stage. Barely conscious. Eyes open, but no eye contact. The patient is not communicative in the least. The last days. But we and the hospice people knew that hearing is the last sense to go. Ruci spent all day Friday chanting to him and telling him that we would all be OK if he wanted to leave his body.

The next morning, Gopa drove Ruci to the hospice and she  was back at her father’s bedside by 10. I had a leisurely morning. It was all too intense for me with my own heart condition.  I went down to the temple for lunch. I also got a flower garland from the altar and a little caritamrita (the Lord’s bathwater).

When I arrived at the hospice Ruci put some drops of caritamrita on his tongue (Al’s mouth was open, breathing heavily and his head stretched back – also a sign of Stage Four).  I placed the flower garland on his chest.  Ruci  brought one of the flowers to his nose and then dabbed it along his forehead and on his eyes.

Ruci took a break and I stayed with Al, chanting to him. After a few minutes I wondered what it was like to be in his position.  I imagined he felt alone and fearful. I spoke to him. “Krishna is your friend. There’s nothing to worry about. Krishna is our father, our mother, our eternal guide, our dearmost friend. You’ve lived a good life. Now just remember Krishna. Think of Krishna. Krishna will help you. Krishna will guide you. You can easily cross over. It’s OK. We’re fine. Thank you for all you’ve done for us.  Don’t be afraid. Krishna will wash away all of your fears. Just remember Krishna and he will be with you on your journey.”

When Ruci came back she was torn about what to do. She didn’t want to leave, but she was emotionally and physically exhausted.  She prayed to be there for his departure. She tried to find his pulse but couldn’t. She hadn’t been able to find his pulse for hours. She went out to the nurse’s desk and asked them to come and check for his pulse. She went back to the room and continued chanting. After five minutes no one had come in.  And as she chanted the Holy Name, quite suddenly and uneventfully, Al took three final breaths and left his body. Then no breathing. Nothing.  

Outside the room the nurse and two attendants were speaking together. Ruci peeked her head out the door and calmly  told them that she thought her father had passed away. They all rushed into the room and hovered over the bed. Then Al let out one last great sigh and was gone.  “He’s a fighter,” the nurse said.  I had stepped out of the room for a few minutes and returned after Al’s departure. Ruci and the three of them standing around the bed in a hallowed silence.   It had been about 25 minutes since Al received the Deities’ garland and water. 

After the two attendants left tearfully, expressing their condolences, the nurse looked at us. You could see she was trying to put things together: how Ruci calmly mentioned that her father had passed. That there had been no struggle on Al’s part. The whole atmosphere was calm. We were calm. She noticed our bead bags. Finally she asked, “What religion are you?”

Ruci and I explained to her that we are devotees of Krishna. That we lived at the Hare Krishna community.  She sincerely asked questions and for a few moments we spoke to her about Krishna Consciousness. She thanked us and quietly left to make arrangements.

Krishna had fulfilled Ruci’s desire to assist her father at the moment of death. She was sad but grateful. It also turned into an opportunity to tell people about Krishna. I think Al will get the benefit for arranging that.  And Al hit it close to the mark. He went into Stage Four on the fifth day and departed on the sixth.

  

The Passing of Ruci's Father - 1 of 2 Parts

Ruci’s father, Al Iannuzzi – aged 98,  passed away last month, just about a month shy of his 99th birthday. Ten months earlier, his wife Ruth passed away at 95  (see my articles from last year about that). They had moved in with us in 2004. They said they wanted to spend the last years of their lives with us here in New Vrindaban. They had started their yearly visits to the community in the late 70’s shortly after my wife and I moved here.  After Ruth’s death, Al soldiered on surprisingly well.  They had been together for 75 years and he often expressed how he missed his wife tremendously.

At 98, Al didn’t look his age. He was in pretty decent health, and was mentally sound. During his last couple of years Al  had this thing about God and religion. There was so much fighting in the name of religion. Why would God allow that? And all the injustices that took place in the name of God. It didn’t make any sense to him. Still he acknowledged that he had a good life and that he couldn’t complain. Al was a good  and kind man. Even though there were problems along the way, things always seemed to work out. He was quite happy that he and Ruth had come to live with us. Over the years they often enjoyed going to the temple to talk with devotees and guests. Al really enjoyed meeting different types of people and he especially liked talking with devotees, and the devotees were kind and respectful to him.

In his last months, he rarely left the house. His condition went downhill in November. His left arm suddenly grew weak. He noticeably started to forget things. We suspected he had a mini-stroke. On a doctor’s visit the doctor wanted to run some tests and blood work to get a better understanding of his condition. “What for?” Al said, “I’ve lived long enough. I’m ready to go.”

After that, as the days passed, each morning in the kitchen Al would say how lousy he felt.  It became a morning ritual. Every morning he would say “What’s the purpose of living this long? It’s unnatural.” He advised against it. “I’m ready to go,” he would say.  Ruci and I tried to nudge him toward meditating upon Krishna’s name, but he just shrugged his shoulders. Not that he was against Krishna Consciousness. He often joked that when he reached his 100^th birthday the devotees could come and sing to him – and he would sing along  too. Maybe, in his own way, he was petitioning Krishna to live to 100.

Then one morning in the beginning of January, he didn’t show up in the kitchen. Later in the morning I went to see him. I found him in his easy chair, barely able to move. Al said that he had a bad night. That he had been in pain. He was reluctant to admit it, but he finally said he was still in pain. And when he stood up he wobbled.  But he was stubborn.  He didn’t want to take my help and  Ruci was with her class. It took me almost two hours to convince  him to go to the ER.  I was exhausted. My son drove in from town to help Al get to the car. He was still reluctant to go but we finally left for the ER. 

Keeping The Darkness Away: Diwali & Govardhana

Diwali, the Festival of Lights is a fitting time for the Hindu New Year.  One of the main stories behind this day is the return of Rama to Ayodhya. Rama and the monkey forces had defeated Ravana and his Raksasa hordes. Ravana had superior weapons and superior forces. The monkeys had only crude weapons – trees, rocks and clubs – but they won nevertheless. By the grace of Lord Rama, the monkeys were unstoppable. Having faith in Rama, we also have to be unstoppable in our efforts to serve Rama and glorify Him.

Several weeks later after the victory, Rama, Sita, Laksman and Hanuman boarded a flower airplane which took them back to Ayodhya. The citizens there waited in great anticipation. The city was bedecked with candles shining from every home. After so many long years the people were eager to see their Lord once again. His return would mark a new era for them - RamRaj. And we also must light the candles. Not only in our homes, but in our hearts. To renew our faith in the Lord and, at this time of year, welcome Him back into our lives.  But why every year? Indeed, we must welcome Him every day and every moment.

The day after Diwali is Govardhana Lila, and so, the devotees delight in worshiping Sri Rama and Sri Krishna back to back. They are one and the same. Krishna, as a child, growing up in Vrindaban, was very mischievous. One day,  Krishna’s father Nanda and the residents there were getting ready to worship King Indra who brought the much needed rain to the land. But in the middle of getting ready for one event, Krishna asked them to make another type of sacrifice – to worship Govardhana Hill instead. Krishna sometimes does that to us. You know what I’m talking about.

There’s a saying attributed to John Lennon: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” We’ve all experienced this in one way or other. Earlier this month my wife and I were a little concerned since Hurricane Sandy was supposed to brush by us (we had heard about the disruption in New York and New Jersey – and I pray for everyone in that area)  And so Sandy came, leaving us without electricity for only four hours.  What a relief! That wasn’t so bad (especially since at the beginning of the summer we had no power for eight days).

My wife and I thought that now we could get on with our lives. But even though the power went back on, our house remained without water for four days. For four days we had to fetch water to bathe and clean and cook. Normally, we get water from our own well. Now we were worried that the pump in the well stopped working, or worse yet, that the well caved in (which happened to us before). But Krishna was merciful. It was only a bad pressure tank in the basement, which our plumber fixed in several hours. 

Krishna often calls upon us to make some sacrifice. We’re expecting to do one thing, but something happens and we’re forced to do something else. So we could do it begrudgingly and curse our circumstances. Or we could find the strength to say “Thank you Krishna for giving me this opportunity to surrender to Your will.”

These holy-days can give us clues on how to live everyday.

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare

Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Chasing Red Herrings

Last installment of Getting By In The Kaliyuga

Balancing the budget is a red herring. Politicians make it sound like it’s the most important thing in the world, but at this point and time, it’s not. Five years ago the economy  took a nose dive. When Bush left office, we were in  a free fall. First, you have to stabilize the economy.  When that’s done then you can think about balancing the budget. This takes years to unravel. Romney even said recently that, if he gets elected, he needs eight to ten years to turn things around (but blames Obama for not getting things done in four years).

What happened to the budget to begin with? What happened to the jobs?  Who made out big time when the economy went down? Did you? Is the debt your fault?   Should you and your children be penalized for the debt?  Follow the money trail. Look the events of the last thirty years. The people that are responsible for all this don’t want us to look at the past. And did you ever see those Senate hearings   where the senators are all indignant and huffing and puffing, and the Wall Street guys are cowering at the table in front of the bench. People swallow this stuff up.  But it’s a charade because nothing ever comes of it. Nothing ever changes.

If the bankers make a profit, they get to keep it for themselves and in turn keep the politicians who helped them in office. And if the bankers screw up then  they get the politicians to convince us that we   all need help clean up the mess they created.  This is capitalism and socialism at its finest.

Prabhupada explains in Light of the Bhagavat (in the purport of text 44) that politicians "want to flourish in the guise of servants of the people...(that they) want to exploit the administrative power for their own self-interest...although professing democracy, they want to be kings.... they compete for votes by bad propaganda."  This sums up the mentality and modus operandi  of many politicians. Nowadays politicians and bankers throw out so many misleading “facts” and “figures” to confuse people. They even hire so-called “research firms” to come up with the conclusions they want you to see. Someone said that you’re entitled to you own opinions but your not entitled to your own facts.  So the problem is if you don’t (or can’t because of the misleading information) study and learn from past mistakes then you’re  condemned to repeat them. You might remember Laural and Hardy – “Here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into.”  They never learn.

Of course, we have to learn how to maneuver through this material world, which often seems like a battlefield.  Sometimes, the battle is raging around us, and sometimes even within us. We have to try our best to do the right thing, without attachment to results, and in his books  Srila Prabhupada has provided an excellent basis, both materially and spiritually.  He has shown us that ultimately real happiness  is not about cultivation of mundane facts and figures. It’s not about who’s in the White House.  It’s not about attaining  satisfaction through the temporary connection we have to this body of ours.   It is about understanding our  own eternal nature as spirit souls and our loving relationship with the Supreme Soul of souls, the Lord Within The Heart.  It’s understanding the journey we're on in this life,  a journey of self discovery. Be true to yourself. Stay focused on the real goal. Don’t go chasing after red herrings.

"One who has renounced the fruits of his actions, whose doubts are destroyed by transcendental knowledge, and who is situated firmly in the self, is not bound by works, O conqueror of riches."  Bhagavad Gita 4:41

Down With Entitlements!

What’s with these politicians signing pledges not to raise taxes? And why do some want to sacrifice Big Bird on the economic altar? If we have to sacrifice someone, why not  the lobbyists?

But nobody wants to touch the lobbyists. Why is entitlement for lobbyists good, but entitlement for seniors bad? Why do we tolerate the lobbyists? Of course, the lobbyists are the one’s really  writing the country’s legislation nowadays (not our elected politicians). That means they have the laws tilted to the advantage of big business. So where is the government “of the people, by the people, for the people?” Does this apply any more or is it just a myth?

In the Vedic culture the leaders had advisors. But the advisors were totally impartial. They didn’t care about Profit for themselves. They cared about upholding the Dharma. That was their contribution to society. So if politicians want to sign pledges, let them sign a pledge to have nothing to do with the lobbyists.  This would be a good start.  Then maybe the lawmakers could really become lawmakers. 

And while they’re at it, the lawmakers  could also sign a pledge not to participate in insider trading.  On Wall Street, insider trading could get you a jail sentence or at least a stiff fine. But not the politicians. Talk about entitlement!!! They can, and do, take advantage of the information that they are privy to in their committee meetings and as they cast influential legislation.  Are they entitled to  think about making extra money for themselves while they’re supposed to be working for us? What would your boss do if he/she caught you working for yourself while you’re on the job?

And the medical plans for politicians? Why should they be entitled to special plans for the rest of their lives even if they only serve on the Hill for five years? When’s the last time you held on to you’re medical plan after you left your job?  Let’s get a comprehensive medical plan for everybody – or for nobody – including the politicians.  Unresolved or ambiguous medical situations take an invisible  toll on the country. Politicians telling people to go to the ER is no  solution.  All of us pay for it in one way or another.

Down with entitlements for politicians. Don’t let politicians 1) be controlled by or morph into lobbyists 2) don’t let them make extra money for themselves while they’re working for us 3) don’t let then walk away with medical plans after they leave the job. 

The Vedic culture shows that governments can work. In this ancient culture, the leaders are beholden to the principles of the Dharma.  They are not immune from the law.  The leaders often made the biggest sacrifices rather than simply asking other take on the burdens.  Unfortunately, the governments of the world have now degenerated into societies of  cheaters and the cheated. If politicians had to scramble like many folks,  they might start working together pretty quickly to find solutions.

Getting By In The Kaliyuga #2

Human life is all about regulation. Morality means regulation. Children and young people getting an education requires regulation. Married life requires regulation. And driving safely on the road requires regulation. Why shouldn’t this apply to businesses? After all, as some proclaim, “businesses are people too.” So why do some politicians insist that de-regulation, or absolutely no regulation, is the easiest and best way for big business to move forward? It's like a child in the store crying and demanding. It’s a lot like the hippies back in the 60’s clamoring for a lifestyle of “free sex” and “free drugs.” And today’s big business wants a free and easy ride as well.

The Vedic system is one of order and opportunity. Both Narada Muni and Grandfather Bhisma taught Yudhisthira that the fruits of a civilized culture are Justice, Profit, and Happiness – this is echoed in the Declaration of Independence which proclaimed our inalienable rights to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” Narada and Bhisma explained that this system of order and opportunity only works if Justice isn’t abused to generate Profit; and that Profits are never to be used to influence the workings of Justice; and that no amount of Justice (liberty) or Profits can actually bring about Happiness, because real Happiness only comes about by an internal process.

Time and again, like a child, big business is eager to run recklessly after quick profits to secure some immediate happiness, casting good sense to the wind. Imagine the chaos if this unregulated dynamic were allowed to be played out by drivers on our roads. It would be pandemonium, and death.

To govern properly, and to live peacefully, requires training and education. People need to be educated so they understand and identify the qualities of proper leadership. What is the value of uneducated voters electing unqualified leaders. It becomes a case of the blind then leading the blind.

In the “Light of the Bhagavat,” (verse 2) Srila Prabhupada explains that education of the citizens is the most important ingredient if democracy is to thrive. The citizens, he writes “should be honest in the payment of taxes to the state and should have honest representatives to look over the administration. In the modern setup of democratic states the citizens can have no cause for grievances, because the whole administration is conducted by the people themselves. If the people themselves are dishonest, the administrative machinery must be corrupt…. if the people are not good they cannot have good government, regardless of which party governs the administration. Therefore good character in the consciousness of the mass of people is the first principle necessary for a good government….”

Actually, the Vedic approach amalgamates the best of what both the Republicans and the Democrats have to offer: that everyone assume personal responsibility; that the leadership provide a fair playing field so all citizens have the opportunity to thrive; that the leadership assumes the greatest responsibility and makes the greatest personal sacrifice in time of hardship; and that they also offer protection, or a safety net, for the most vulnerable citizens. And if the leadership were remiss in giving proper protection, they would practically be embarrassed out of their posts.

All to often the so-called political and business leaders find ways to exploit their positions for their own personal gain. If they are not brought to task, then everything becomes spoiled. The panacea (and this is what the Vedic system is about) is for citizens to be educated in the principles of self realization, and in what real leadership is, and in what real responsibility is, and how to live a good and honest life.